Friday, March 28, 2008

Figure wrongly

A lot of people I knew, met, acquainted or just happend to know by name or throught digital worlds have judge me. The judgements have been good and bad compliments. Well we are all people having mistakes and we are not perfect. I myself have judge people around me. And it so compromising that the ones I have misjudge and give bad compliments are those people who stayed with me and are true. The world is really upside down.

I am flattered and inspire if people would adore me as being me especially if they are true on saying such good things. I mean who wouldn't be happy receiving those flowering words from others. Its like music to the ear. You have the feeling of goodness and delighted that they have saw your nice and charming character that attracts them.

But it so hurting when they backfight you. They would say good things but when you aren't around its the opposite (plastic if not, a tupperware). Well we can't help backfighting, its human nature. Some people may say I am not approachable and hard to reach out, yes its true especially when you are a total stranger to me. I am shy and quite person and unfriendly at first(definitely true), but when you come to know me we could make difference. Some people may say they hate me. But I don't know why, maybe because I am so secretive and snobbish. Some people may say they don't feel me if I am with them, the way I talk and act. Some people may find that I have an attitude problem and have a big pride. Some may say they dont want me anymore because I always have problems and get invovle to problems (tak an na cla mamati ka prob ko)....hays....but its them and not me. I am not perfect, I also have wrong doings, has weaknesses. When this events happened I feel down and I don't have much guts to face the world and the people. I just kept silent, its better that way. If they don't like me, I gues that is how it is supposed to be.

As far as I know, I am myself and I don't know how to pretend, but I can keep my emotions if possible and needed. I may say I don't care if what others may talk about, but still I can't help it, I care what they talk about. And willing to hear from them what things do they hate about me..I mean I have to face the fears, the hurts and the pain it may cause. This hurts me alot silently and I don't want to voice it out. Its no use. There are certain things that are not meant to be spoken and be left unspoken or vice versa. The important thing is you know you are happy in your decision with no regrets and be prepared on things to come along. I wish I could stick into this sentence.